So much

So I have been carless for some time now and it sucks...a lot. Well I have a friend trying to sell this grand am 04 its gold and its wonderful I want it a lot, the kicker its 3400 bucks which i for sure don't have. Why does everything have to be so much? There is the car and also Yi is gone so much for work and it drives me mad, I miss him but there isnt anything I can do about this... why is it always so much?

Sept 23, 2010

So my day was fairly uneventful yesterday. I did basically nothing all day. Went and got Yi from El's house. It was kind of scary actually rhw roads were so horrible, it was raining so hard. I hydroplaned like 3 times but i am okay obviously. I then spent most of the day laying around with Yi, we walked to the store around the corner for dinner and got soaking, it was pretty fun actually. Then he went to do some stuff for work with El and I went to my dad's house so he could shave the sides of my head down again. I almost got to hang out with my friend Erik Anderson, who I haven't seen since high school, for a while but he had car troubles so it didn't pan out correctly. Then I came home and watched Across the Universe. That movie touches me each time for some reason, its a very powerful movie to me. I remember the first time I watched it, I couldn't watch it again for monthes because I didn't want to ruin its message. It still moves me, and i greatly enjoy it. Hopefully me and Yi can watch it together when he comes home today. There is this awesome show at The Loft tonight that Yi and I really want to go to so hopefully that is what happens tonight.

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Me!

Taoz Ashra Rayn

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Life or something like it

So today on this rainy september day I have come to tell you all about this thing known as my life. As of June 4, 2010 I have been with Yiyosa ,aka Yiyo aka Yi aka Kyle. I know thats not a long time to be with someone but I love him a lot actually...more then I have ever loved anyone before. We met at Sacred Earth and have been together ever sense, we now live together and minus having problems with our roomies everything between us is going great. I moved out of my dad's house in August and that is minus the shitty roomies going well as well.I will most likely be moving again soon however because if shitty roomies lol. I am not pregnant which is a plus since my hours at work have been cut a lot and i am not making much money right now. My dad and I are gettin along sort of well, but he has become increasingly annoying with me not living in his house. He has serious control issues... for real...he could use a little help I think. I got a new tattoo andi will put pictures of it up as soon as I can figure out how to do so, and I got a hair cut...see before about pictures of that. Oh I own an all black cat by the name of Omen, she is about 6 monthes old...a real spit fire she is but she is mellowing out it would seem, she is my baby girl however and I love her like mad. In need of a car since mine is now sadly dead and gone...RIP Jeep you are sorely missed.

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Glue

I don't know how to put this all back together
It seems my world has fallen apart
There is no words for me to make you understand
I don't have lines to make this clear to you
There are no notes to bring this to your ears
There are only these pieces
I can't begin to understand them all
And I am done trying to make them fit together

Life as of this minute in my life today

So right now I am really really not having a good day. I got all of about 3 hours of sleep, and when I was going to fix this and go back to bed because it was 8 am, my father walked in and told me he was going and would be back soon. So I was suddenly babysitting at 8 am with no sleep. Then at 10 am this crazy little kid showed up to play with my little brothers, one little kid that we don't actually like and he wont go away. Then I had a fight with Jake, Oh.. oh side note, I am dating this new guy Named Yiyo (you say that Yah yo) I call him Yi often so there you go he is wonderful and I like him a lot. So back to Jake, we had this huge fight and that made me extra pissed off, and now i find I may be moving again because the people that own the house we are renting we so behind that its being foreclosed on... yep they didnt tell us we just found out today, and it doesnt have anything to d with us... great this day... I cant even finish right now later...
..

All you need to know about what I believe

I am a Satanist, I am coming out here to say it. This is not a bad thing, I DON"T believe in Satan, here are my beliefs in a nice neat list form.

The Nine Satanic Statements

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

The Eleven Satanic Rules of Earth

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

The Nine Satanic Sins

1. Stupidity—The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.

2. Pretentiousness—Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn’t applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone’s made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.

3. Solipsism—Can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won’t. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of “Do unto others as they do unto you.” It’s work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point.

4. Self-deceit—It’s in the “Nine Satanic Statements” but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit!

5. Herd Conformity—That’s obvious from a Satanic stance. It’s all right to conform to a person’s wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.

6. Lack of Perspective—Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints—know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.

7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies—Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.

8. Counterproductive Pride—That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.

9. Lack of Aesthetics—This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing—it’s what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

PENTAGONAL REVISIONISM: A FIVE-POINT PROGRAM

In recent years, we’ve wasted far too much time explaining that Satanism has nothing to do with kidnapping, drug abuse, child molestation, animal or child sacrifice, or any number of other acts that idiots, hysterics or opportunists would like to credit us with. Satanism is a life-loving, rational philosophy that millions of people adhere to. Now we’re ready for something that goes quite a few steps beyond just explaining our principles. Every revisionist movement needs a set of goals/guidelines that are clear, concrete, and that will effect significant changes.

The following Five-Point Program reflects attitudes which allow others to decide whether they wish to align themselves with Satanism or not. Each is necessary for Satanic change to take place. When asked what we’re “doing,” here’s the answer:

1. Stratification—The point on which all the others ultimately rest. There can be no more myth of “equality” for all—it only translates to “mediocrity” and supports the weak at the expense of the strong. Water must be allowed to seek its own level without interference from apologists for incompetence. No one should be protected from the effects of his own stupidity.

2. Strict taxation of all churches—If churches were taxed for all their income and property, they’d crumble overnight of their own obsolescence, and the National Debt would be wiped out as quickly. The productive, the creative, the resourceful should be subsidized. So long as the useless and incompetent are getting paid, they should be heavily taxed.

3. No tolerance for religious beliefs secularized and incorporated into law and order issues—to re-establish “Lex Talionis” would require a complete overturning of the present in-justice system based on Judeo-Christian ideals, where the victim/defender has been made the criminal. Amnesty should be considered for anyone in prison because of his alleged “influence” upon the actual perpetrator of the crime. Everyone is influenced in what he or she does. Scapegoating has become a way of life, a means of survival for the unfit. As an extension of the Judeo-Christian cop-out of blaming the Devil for everything, criminals can gain leniency, even praise, by placing the blame on a convenient villain. Following the Satanic creed of “Responsibility to the responsible,” in a Satanic society, everyone must experience the consequences of his own actions—for good or ill.

4. Development and production of artificial human companions—The forbidden industry. An economic “godsend” which will allow everyone “power” over someone else. Polite, sophisticated, technologically feasible slavery. And the most profitable industry since T.V. and the computer.

5. The opportunity for anyone to live within a total environment of his or her choice, with mandatory adherence to the aesthetic and behavioral standards of same—Privately owned, operated and controlled environments as an alternative to homogenized and polyglot ones. The freedom to insularize oneself within a social milieu of personal well-being. An opportunity to feel, see, and hear that which is most aesthetically pleasing, without interference from those who would pollute or detract from that option.

This is the encapsulated version of the current thrust of Satanic advocacy. So when someone asks you, “Well, what do Satanists do?”, you will be qualified to tell him.

Okay now that we have this all where you can easily find it please understand I am not evil, I am not doing this to hurt you or to rebel against you and, Yes I do feel this way, its what I believe and I will never criticizes you so please don't criticize me.