Wonder

So I have this horrible break up with Droge and I am all totally off relationships and such.... then I meet Cadaver.... and everything didn't matter anymore...

So Here we Are

Well this has now become my little writing journal type thing.... and I will be writing in it more often for my sanity. So as of right now my life is as follows.... I am basically homeless ( well living temporarily with my mom)  I have a job but my checks are all messed up because my car was broken for like 5 days

I cant really afford a babysitter but I need to go to work to afford my baby sitter

I have a girlfriend who lives 4 hours away and no boyfriend because he showed me a side of him I can't accept as well as proving to me that if I have to spend all my time trying to prove to someone that I am trustworthy when I haven't done anything wrong then I shouldn't bother trying... I give my all to someone I am with but apparently I should just stop that and be a distant ass like everyone else. I know it won't happen that way but I feel hurt and let down again... Why is it that when we met they are so into me then that just goes away? What is it that I am doing to make myself so unwanted? Whatever then have fun being without me, because I am off to enjoy my life and be a good mother!  So on a positive side of my life currently... I am looking for apartments... on my own! So sick of roommate drama! I am working and so far m job hasn't been going so bad... I really like it and I am, in fact, getting a raise! This guy i used to like a lot has shown back up in my life and its really nice to be in touch again. We always had a lot of fun and he has never pressured me to do anything and he has grown up a lot and really understands where my life is right now... its nice. No expectations, just taking it where it goes, one day at a time.

Then its snapped

And then it was broken...... We are not a you and I.... we don't even speak.... But its okay... I will be just fine.... My heart is broken and I am alone... but I press on... I have to, for my little sun god.
I don't get to wallow around and feel bad for myself... I must stand up and dust myself off and be on to the next stage....Still sucks

Falling Apart

Well.... It was all great... I was happy and it was perfect.... now this.... he will never trust me he doesn't trust me... how am I suppose to feel about this... I am sick of fighting to prove that I am worth it... that I am a great women... I try my hardest and I try my best....Why is that never enough?